The Teacher Burnout Podcast

The Comparison Detox for Teachers
[00:00:00] Episode, I want to talk about comparing yourself to other teachers and how you can get rid of it. That's all coming up next right here on the teacher burnout podcast. Stay tuned.
Speaker: Welcome to the Teacher Burnout Podcast, where we explore the challenges of burnout for teachers and share practical strategies to support teacher well being. I'm your host Barb Flowers. If you're a teacher looking for ways to prevent burnout or an educational leader searching for strategies to support your team, this podcast is for you.
Let's dive in.
Well, welcome back to the podcast today. We're going to be talking about comparison. And I think this is a huge thing with social media and seeing other teachers and all the wonderful things that they're doing in their classroom.
It's so easy to compare yourself and start feeling like you're not good enough. I remember as a new teacher, I did this all the time. I was constantly comparing myself to other people. And, you know, as I'm [00:01:00] thinking, I wouldn't even say just as a new teacher, I was in the classroom about six years before I became an administrator.
And it wasn't until I became an administrator. That I really had this aha moment that it's so easy to compare yourself to other teachers because you hear about great things happening in their classroom. But when I walk in different classrooms as a principal, and when I've walked into so many classrooms and seen different ways that teachers teach, everybody has their own style.
It truly has to work for that person. And, I didn't understand that as a teacher, but once I became an administrator and got to see so many teachers, I really did understand it. And my principal would tell us that he would say, you know, this is your strength. You're really good at classroom management and from the approach that you're very direct with students and straight to the point where other teachers were, , just a little bit different in how they handle their classroom management, but it still worked.
And so, , I wanted to do this episode because I really want to help teachers just have more [00:02:00] confidence in themselves and just know. That you don't have to compare yourself to other teachers, and I think with social media, that's really hard to even I see other principles, and I look at all the cool things that teachers are doing in the content coming out, and I think I never did that, you know, and it's easy to get caught up in that.
But I think you have to remember what works for you. I taught first grade and third grade, and then I also did title. But when I was student teaching, I student taught first grade. I had the most amazing cooperating teacher, but the thing about her.
Is she was so different than me. Like she, she had all these strengths. I didn't have, she spoke Spanish. She was an amazing singer and would sing transitions to kids. She would hum, she would get their attention in different ways. And it was amazing. And I always compared myself to her, but then I realized after a while that worked for her, but it's not my personality.
Even though I was an elementary teacher, that didn't work for me. I wasn't going to sing with the kids and, [00:03:00] um, All of that. And I don't think it makes one person better than the other. I just think you have to lean into your strengths.
When I taught first grade, I was very direct with them and didn't talk to them like first graders. And I just had a different approach and it worked for me. And I don't say that to say one is better than the other. I just say that as an example that We compare ourselves, and it's so easy to do that. But what I want you to really start doing is just thinking about what works for you.
So I want to talk about why we compare. Well, our brain is wired to protect us , and it immediately goes to the negative. It naturally takes us into comparison or thinking about what we're doing wrong to protect us. And it takes us, being aware when we're doing that. So how do we stop comparing?
, you have to stop telling yourself the story that everybody else has it together or knows more than you. Okay? Because that's one of the stories that we tell ourself is, Oh, they're a better teacher. They're so much more [00:04:00] creative than me. I always told myself that story because I wasn't creative in the way that most people are.
Elementary teachers are now, I look at myself in a different way that, yeah, I like to create content and I like to create things digitally, but when it came to decorating my classroom and even when I decorate my house, it's not a strength of minus, and it's not something I really enjoy doing, and so I have to stop telling myself the story.
That everybody else has it together. Everybody else can do this better. But instead, I could look at something like that. Over time in my career, I started to think, I don't really like decorating my classroom. And I work with a ton of teachers who love decorating classrooms. I'm going to use that instead of comparing myself to them, I'm going to have them help me.
And that's what I did. So knowing yourself better and stop telling yourself that story and then catch yourself when you're comparing and create a neutral thought. Remember that we're all doing the best that we can and we all have different strengths. Okay. So just remember that. And when you find yourself comparing, she's a better teacher because her room is [00:05:00] decorated cuter than mine.
Stop and say, maybe that's not where I'm spending my time and energy. And that's okay. You have to neutralize that thought. And then realize that everyone has a different situation. And then have gratitude for what's going well in your classroom and what you're doing well.
That's gonna help you focus on really maintaining control. That's going to help you focus on controlling. Have gratitude for what's going well in your classroom and what you're doing well. That's going to help you stop comparing because when you have gratitude for things and when you focus on the positive, it's harder to come from a negative standpoint or compare yourself.
Just remember, Teddy Roosevelt said, it. Comparison is the thief of joy. And I think this is such a great quote. If I think about my teaching career, comparison was probably the number one thing that took the most joy away, right? When I wasn't just present in the moment with my kids enjoying it. It was because I was comparing myself thinking I wasn't [00:06:00] doing it right.
I wasn't doing it good enough. I want to talk about the hidden costs of comparison. So what happens when we compare ourselves? Well, we end up with decreased job satisfaction and eventually teacher burnout. And we know that teacher burnout is really on the rise. That was the whole reason I started this podcast.
And one thing I think that happens, how comparison can lead to burnout is You're just never truly happy and satisfied in your job. And if you're always pursuing something and you feel like you're never good enough, eventually you'll burn out because your brain can't stay in that negative space for so long.
When you're in that negative comparison state, you're really in fight or flight. You're using the primitive part of your brain. And if you don't get out of that mode, it will lead to burnout. And so you really want to focus on. Not comparing yourself because there is that hidden cost.
Also, you lose focus on your own classroom's unique needs and strengths. , you lose focus on all the progress and the good things happening in [00:07:00] your own classroom or how certain students have progressed. It also is going to make you rush making decisions. And I did this all the time as a teacher, I would read a book.
Then I would change what I was doing in my classroom, read a book, change what I was doing, versus thinking, this is working for kids. I have data to show that this is working. I changed what I did in my classroom my first year so many times. And let me say, it's okay to change, especially as a new teacher, but it was so much, and my kids were wonderful about it.
They just went with the flow, but you know, thinking about that, I was doing good things to start with, and I needed to trust in my own teaching abilities. It also diminishes the ability to celebrate small wins. It diminishes your ability to see kids making progress or you changing as a teacher. One of the best things I ever did was in Ohio, , we have something called resident educator.
I know in colleges, some people do the ed TPA and part of it, resident educator was very similar [00:08:00] to edTPA and it's changed over time. It's not the same now, but I had to tape myself teaching and then submit this video with the lesson plans and all kinds of different information. And I remember the curriculum director at the time said, if I were to do this, I would probably just tape myself teaching a bunch of lessons and then do the write up.
And pick the best one. That was the best advice because I taped myself teaching multiple lessons and watch myself teaching them, and it was so enlightening to watch myself teach because I was able to see areas I needed to improve, but I also could see things going well. And when we're in the moment and we're focused on teaching, you don't always get to see that.
, if you're ever able to tape yourself teaching and again, it's a good way to grow as a teacher, but you can find those wins of what you're doing well. And then,
just remember if you're always trying to do too much and make too many changes at once, you're going to make yourself crazy. And eventually you will burn out because that is just going to mess with you feeling like you're never good enough. Make small [00:09:00] changes. I would go to PD days and I wanted to change everything I was doing.
And then somebody said to me, once you take one little nugget from each book you read, each PD you go to, and you change based on that one little thing, you don't go in and change everything. And I had trouble with that because I felt like if I wasn't doing it perfect, I wasn't doing it right. So those are just some of the hidden costs of comparison.
Now I want to talk about how to break free from comparison. So to break free, you want to develop awareness of comparison triggers. So. What really causes you to compare yourself? , for example, I said books cause me to compare myself. When I read a book, I always want to compare myself because I think, I'm not doing something up to the standard or I'm not doing it how it should be done.
, so that's a trigger for me. Now that I have many years in education, I know that. I choose my books wisely, and I try to only pick one to two nuggets to change from them. Another comparison trigger for me was going to PD days, knowing that I'm [00:10:00] a person who wants to do the right things, and I'm on board to implement whatever changes we need to implement.
But I needed to be aware that's a trigger for me. So again, making small little implementations. Picking one to two things to change. Also stop internalizing the perfect teacher narrative. And I really think that this is a true thing that we see there. These there are these perfect teachers on Instagram.
And I do love, there are some where teachers, put funny stories or what life really is like as a teacher. , but we get in our head about , what is the perfect teacher. And I always like to say. you know, even when I'm working with principals, like what is the sustainable thing to do right as a teacher, what is sustainable for you in your career?
Because often we think, Oh, this is what the perfect teacher would do. And we do these outrageous things that are awesome, but you can't do that forever, or you will burn yourself out. So stop thinking one, that there's a perfect teacher, just realize that there's just you and your [00:11:00] strengths.
And you have to figure out what that is and then really focus on doing things that are sustainable for you and your kids that energize you, that make you excited to go to work, but they don't drain you and practice having that neutral self talk. We're all learning and growing, you know, I'm doing a great job.
, maybe another one could be, I'm implementing one new thing at a time, but find what that neutral self talk is for you. And then acknowledge that your school is different than other schools. You have different student demographics. You have different community resources. You have different experience levels than other people.
Maybe you're a brand new teacher comparing yourself with 20 years. Maybe you're a 20 year teacher comparing yourself with a brand new teacher, right? Either one, you all bring your different experiences and excitement and you have to recognize that. If you're comparing yourself to teachers in your building, it could be that they have a different class dynamic. I always was the teacher who was the inclusion teacher without a lot of special ed support.
And so I always [00:12:00] had high needs students without a lot of support. So , , my focus had to be a little bit different than maybe somebody who had gifted kids. Who are a little bit more independent, or somebody who didn't have all the special needs, right? Every classroom looks different. There were years that I had an amazing class with very few behaviors.
And then there were years that I had a lot of behaviors. My first year, I still don't I don't know how it happened. I had 14 kids, you can't compare a class of 22 kids to 14 kids. What happened was a bunch of kids moved right before the school year started, and so I ended up with a very small class.
I think a couple kids moved in, but still, it was a very small class. You can't compare that to a normal class. So you just have to realize that everyone has a different situation, a different environment. And then if they're in a, if you see teachers online, they're in a different school, right? In Ohio here, , is really bad where, you know, you have schools next to each other in neighboring districts and one school has a lot of money and one doesn't.
And so [00:13:00] teachers can make a huge difference in pay. And then the amount of resources that teachers get are. There's a huge discrepancy in that. So every school is different. Every teacher job is different. You really can't compare yourself to another teacher.
And then support systems look different, I had the most supportive principal, but one year he was in charge of two elementary buildings.
So he wasn't there all the time. And that was hard because I had less support. So every year looks different. Every leader looks different and you can't compare yourself to other people. And then focus on your classroom's individual growth trajectory. Think about where your students started and where they're going and how they've grown.
And create your own success metrics as a teacher based on your student growth and the relationships that you build with your students. Remember the best teachers build the best relationships. Okay, so it's not having the perfect classroom or the perfect activity, it's how are your relationships with those kids.
Kids want to learn [00:14:00] from adults they trust and love. And then building a positive teacher mindset. So here are some things you can do to have this positive teacher mindset. Maintain a gratitude journal focusing on your daily wins. Every day just stop and think of three things that went well in your classroom.
I'm sure you can think of a lot of things that were hard that day. But what are three wins that you had for the day? Connect with other teachers for genuine sharing, not comparison, not complaining, but just sharing. You want to have people who understand what you're going through and you can share the successes.
You can share the hard things. Sometimes I remember I dealt with a really hard situation my second year teaching, just having teachers say, this is not normal. I've been teaching for 30 years. This probably won't happen to you again, right? Having those situations is really helpful because, to me, I didn't know it was normal.
I was such a new teacher, but just hearing from other people with experience, getting their feedback is really helpful. [00:15:00] And document your class's progress through photos and stories. , really be cautious here. I see a lot of teachers post on Instagram with their classrooms. , you have to be careful because that really is , it's not okay to post other people's kids without their permission and all of that.
So one, know that, but you could really document your classroom's progress even in. in the classroom, , create a photo book or, , write down notes of what are things that went well and share those with the students and really celebrate the class together and then celebrate your improvements relative to your starting points.
So one thing I always tell teachers is pick one area each year just to focus on and getting better. So for example, if it was my year that I wanted my math instruction to be better, where did I start at the beginning of the year and where am I now and look at those differences? How did my conversations change with kids?
How did I make my questioning more open ended? How did I give students more choice? Think about all those ways that you improved in your instruction and then share authentic [00:16:00] challenges with your colleagues. And like I said. Share these with your colleagues, , not to complain and get validation that really doesn't help anything, but if you share challenges in a way, like,, have you experienced this?
Do you have tips for me to help me? They're either going to give you tips to help, or they might say, this is not something that you'll see, and it's not a normal experience. So just having those people to support you can be huge. So again, I hope you find these helpful.
I hope you really go through and think about comparison. Think about all of the ways you compare yourself, become aware of it, and really find strategies to help yourself be grateful for where you are right now. I'm sure you're doing a great job in your classroom, and , I want you to find the things going well, celebrate those, and really enjoy all the great things that you're doing for students.
And if you love the show and you're listening on Apple, scroll down in your app and leave a review. Keep in mind you have the power to shape your life according to the mindset you choose. I hope you have a great week and I'll see you back here next time.[00:17:00]